I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
