you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
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Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
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I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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