did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
