yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
