playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
