It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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