were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
