All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
