thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
So many bounce houses so little time
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
