wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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