Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You need a sexual gate keeper
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
