Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
