I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
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but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
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He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.