I want to stick my p in your. b.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
time to smoke my breakfast
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.