she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
