I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
