I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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