we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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