I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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