I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
