your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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