Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
