"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
