woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
