im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
