after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
