I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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