Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
