My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
