I must be too annoying 4 u.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize