Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I want her autograph on my taint
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
sex in a hospital.. check
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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