I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
