69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
