Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
