just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
No subtext here. People are naked.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
