Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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