So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
