Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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