Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
my shit smells like andre
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
