What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
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Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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