so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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