biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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