I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize