OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
