woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
only you would photoshop your dick
You're like the curious george of whores
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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