when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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