I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Floor bacon is actually really good
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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