i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
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