And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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