Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Your penis caused this!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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