The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
