When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
