i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
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I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
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My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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