Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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