Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He did a backflip because drugs
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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