No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
