i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
this boner is exhausting
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
