she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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