They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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