I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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